It’s an honour to hold space
One of the first things I learnt when I began my search to return back to my body was the power of being able to be witness to someone else and in turn to be truly witnessed.
At the first Qoya retreat, at the opening circle, we were asked to not interrupt one another’s journey, emotions or story. We were asked, to be there, see them, listen and allow that woman, the honour of just being with the truth for them in that moment.
It was not our role to relieve them of it, to fix it, to stop it, to judge it, to put our own story on it.
Our only role was to hold space for that woman to be. Exactly how they were at that moment. To give that woman, our full presence, nothing more and nothing less.
Do you know what a relief that is?
To recognise that just by truly listening and holding space for another – is enough.
In fact, it is so much more.
When I didn’t have to get inside my own head to come up with a compassionate response, or I didn’t feel like I had to think of a way to help them, it allowed me to be so much more present with them. I could be in my body and just allow them to be with whatever was in theirs. I was able to be fully there with them.
When we are being witnessed just as we are in our presence, we are often able to open up to the opportunity of the moment, it can become a surprisingly powerful place of AHA moments. Just by being truly seen, can give us the spaciousness to take ownership of our own experience and as a result often we organically step into our own power, no longer placing ourselves in the role of the victim.
And as the holder of the space, oh the sweet relief, when we give over to just being witness, to creating a safe space for someone else to be. No judgement, no commentary, no coaching – just a simple response of “Thank you, thank you for sharing.”
If you are struggling, help people to create a safe space for you. Be brave and ask them to just listen. No commentary, no coaching, no fixing.
And if you know someone struggling, then see if you can become their witness and create the space to just honour where they are at right now.
As Byron Katie shares, there is God’s business, Your business, and My business. In my experience, I find that if I stay in my business and play witness to the rest, then I am on my path.
It would be an honour to be your witness, if you would like to work with me one on one, please get in reach out.